Change and a barrier of change.

Its been a while-again. No access to a laptop limits my writing craving. Im hanging onto my iphone only and that’s the only cling I can hold on to be connected, via the internet of course.

 I have been through lots of shi*s in the year 2013. Things I shouldn’t have done, things I should have done. All the things I have never imagined I would do.

I have been forgiving the people I love the most in my life. Forgiving mistakes done repeatedly, mistakes done intentionally, and mistakes done without a regret. See, when I forgave people for their wrongs, I do not see myself as weak. I see myself as a normal human being and doesn’t play God. Heck even God forgives. Even Muhammad forgives. Who am I not to? Yes most people around me said Im dumb. For always looking at things in a positive manner, literally everything. But that’s how I heal my heart. That’s how I sooth this tiny broken pieces back to its form. The form it should be. When I forgive people, it means I still have hope for the person to mend his wrongs and do the right thing later. And I do pray to Allah for me to be patient. Cause change don’t just happen in a day or two. Depending on that changing, and depending on a particular person, that act of change may require years to happen. And I did pray and be patient, as that’s what He wants his ummah to be. Pray-be patient-give hope-and work for the change. The least I could do are those things. 

If a person isn’t strong enough to mend the wrongs, that’s where we are to give the support and be there for them. And I guess I did for the past few years. I did. And eventually it didn’t work out because that person doesn’t want to be assisted nor ever wanted to mend the wrongs. And to realize that, I stop trying and I walked away. For good. An act I have never been proud of. An act I have always thought should be as a last resort for an almost sunken hope. 

See, people can say don’t give up. Well walking away doesn’t show an act of giving up. At least for me, it could be the way to help another person that we walked away off. I see the person woke up now and be a better person that I used to know before. And realizing that im one of the major reason that held that person’s act to change before. And by walking away I have actually moved the barrier that kept him in a dungeon of doom. By walking away that person had finally found the light to crawl out of his near death cliff. 

O’ Allah, I pray for that person to be blessed and loved by your for eternity till the hereafter as so I pray for mine too.